Fun Times With Dad

my dad

I just finished a term paper, for a class that I am taking.

The topic was, How a fathers care and attention impacts a child’s life. It was based on a research article about a Fathers’ Warm Care giving.

It stated all of the obvious data, and a few new things to consider. A child fares better when there are two parents in the home. A child in a single parent situation is more likely to face poverty and the troubles associated with poverty.

A child who does not have a father in the home is more likely to become a teenage parent and more likely to indulge in drugs, alcohol, and cigarette smoking. A child without a father in the home is more likely to engage in delinquent behavior. You get it.

That is not to say that, because, a child is in a single parent home, the world is going to come crashing down on him or her. There are many fatherless families with children who turn out to be just fine, and in some cases spectacular.

This is the result of powerful parenting on the part of the mother or single father.

Sometimes there is support from friends family and the larger community.

Every now and then things turn out great because they were wonderful children anyway.

Warm parenting is described as nurturing, responsive, positive, interactions by the father.

You know, the kind of stuff you see on TV. The report studied how a father’s warm interactions with his child, between the ages of birth and age 3 affected the child in later life.

The children who had the warm interactions, whether the father was in the home or not, did better on every measure. The did better in preschool, 2 grade, 5th grade and on into adolescence and early adulthood.

This got me to thinking about how it was growing up in my nearly perfect two parent home with a stay at home mom and a kind dad who made good money and did not run the streets.

It was great. We had simple fun, if my dad mowed the lawn, I was walking in his footsteps. If my dad fixed the TV, I was hanging over his shoulder and requesting that he take out all of the scarey stuff.

When my dad put up a picket fence, I was right there, of course, the picket that I cut was totally backwards. It was so backwards that you couldn’t flip it over. So my dad used that as the interest piece on the gate.

Friday was ice cream day, it didn’t matter how many kids were on the sidewalk, we all piled in and rode to the local diary queen or we made these fantastic grape soda ice cream floats in the kitchen.

Our fun came from long rides exploring the country side. The challenge was to see how many fox you could spot. We would drive over to Drayton Plains and Watch the parachute jumpers. And we would spend long days at the state park.

It was all so simple, but so much fun. Dads, whether you are in the home or not, make it a point to spend warm, quality, simple time with your children. You can’t underestimate the impact of that.

My dad is still alive today, I am 55 he is 84.

Thanks Dad for a Wonderful Life.

It Takes A Village To Raise A Child, This Is My Village Project.

Take Care Of Your Village,

The Village Mother


Stranger Danger




When was the last time you had a Stranger Danger conversation with the young people in your life?

Here is a reminder.


CTV Toronto Marlene Leung, Published Wednesday, March 20, 2013 10:13PM EDT

A 10-year-old girl thwarted an abduction attempt after asking a stranger for a code word that he did not know.

Durham police say a man approached the girl outside Apple croft Public School in Ajax, east of Toronto, on Monday around 3:30 pm.

The man attempted to lure the girl into his vehicle, which was parked in the school parking lot, police said. A female was in the vehicle at the time.

The man told the girl her parents had sent him to pick her up.

Det.. Dave Mason told CTV Toronto that the girl and her parents shared a secret code word that would be used if someone approached her telling her they were there to pick her up.

If the person was truly sent by her parents, he or she would know the code word.

“She asked this person what the code word was and obviously they got it wrong,” Mason said. “She told them ‘You got the code word wrong’ and that person left.”

As the two suspects left in the car, the girl even managed to memorize a few of the license plate numbers and what the suspects and the car looked like. When she returned home she told her parents, who notified police.

Mason said the case serves as a reminder to parents of the importance of talking with their children about personal safety.

“I think it’s important to have some sort of safety plan in place and to have that discussion with your kids,” he said.

Here are some more tips to keep your family safe.

tell children that if a stranger tries to talk to them, they should simply run away to find the nearest adult.

Children should also be taught that if they feel they’re being watched to find an adult and tell them.

Ensure that children always have someone around them they trust.

“Children really shouldn’t be alone. If they are going to and from school, they should be accompanied with other children,” he says.

If they are latchkey kids, they should have a rule that when they get home, they must phone one of their parents at work to check in,

Older kids who have cellphones should be checking in with their parents when they get home as well.

Teach your child to shout, “You’re not my mother!” or “You’re not my father!” if someone tries to take them away

Teach your child to say “No!” firmly. Practice shouting it with them

Teach them to go to a sales clerk if they’re separated from you in a store

Teach them to never invite strangers into the house or answer the door when alone

As soon as they’re old enough, teach them their address, phone number and parents’ names

As soon as they are old enough, teach them how to dial 911




Peggy is the first in a series of 3 books.  N K Beckley is a friend of mine.  We travel  the same craft show circuit.  Ms. Beckley is quite witty and assures me that your young person will enjoy this story.   Check out this title and other N K Beckley titles at Alibris .com under the author name N K Beckley.  Below is the official synopsis for the book.


Peggy is the story of a very bright Fourth Grader who lives in Suburban Philadelphia. She is always getting into trouble with her teachers and classmates as she likes to daydream. Her teachers and friends do not know what to do with her because when she is asked for an answer to questions she always gets it right. You as the reader are asked to solve her problem.

Stay tuned to see what happens to her in Book Two, The Three-Some.


It takes a village to raise a child, this is My Village Project

Take Care Of Your Village

The Village Mother

The Black Child’s Pledge


Recently, there has been some criticism about Black People teaching The Black Pledge to their children.They” feel that it is polarizing and that it adds no value to a young persons life.

I use the Black Pledge with my youth group. The Pledge was developed in 1968,  by Shirley Williams for the Black Panthers.

Despite their public image, the Black Panthers embraced all of the values that America holds dear.

I am not a member, nor have I ever been.  But when I was thinking about a statement for my youth, this came to mind.

I remembered the existence of this pledge from hearing it back in the 70’s, so I looked it up. That is how I became aware of the current controversy.

The purpose of a pledge is to state the values, principles and mission of an organization.  It assures that each and every member of the organization, knows what is expected.  When a person makes a pledge it, is a statement of agreement with the pledge and loyalty to the person or organization..

The Girl Scouts and Boy Scouts have a pledge, I assume that most Fraternities do to.  This is the statement regarding the Girl Scout Promise and Law (Pledge).

The Girl Scout Promise and Law are shared by every member of Girl Scouting.

The Girl Scout Promise is the way Girl Scouts agree to act every day toward one another and other people.

The Girl Scout Law outlines a way to act towards one another and the world.

The Black Pledge The Black Panther Pledge October 26, 1968 by Shirley Williams

I pledge allegiance to my Black People.

I pledge to develop my mind and body to the greatest extent possible.

I will learn all that I can in order to give my best to my People in their struggle for liberation.

I will unselfishly share my knowledge and understanding with them in order to bring about change more quickly.

I will discipline myself to direct my energies thoughtfully and constructively rather than wasting them in idle hatred.

I will train myself never to hurt or allow others to harm my Black brothers and sisters.

for I recognize that we need every Black Man, Woman, and Child to be physically, mentally and psychologically strong.

These principles I pledge to practice daily and to teach them to others in order to unite my People.


Let’s examine this pledge

Line 1  I pledge allegiance to my Black People. Allegiance, means support and cooperation. It meant that I will come to your defense if you need me.   Do you see a problem so far?

Line 2  I pledge to develop my mind and body to the greatest extent possible.

To develop my mind and body to the greatest extent possible. Is anything wrong with physical fitness, and intellect?

Line 3  I will learn all that I can in order to give my best to my People in their struggle for liberation.

Learn all that I can – do you have a problem with education for black youth?

To give my best to my people in their struggle for liberation. No one is suggesting a revolution, but a change has got to come. Change can be affected in the arts, in the sciences, and in the humanities.

It can take place in homes, on playgrounds and in the church. Change can happen in politics and in industry. This is not a bad thing.

The liberation that is being spoken of is more psychological then physical.  Consider liberation from the mental hold that seems to have followed us from slavery,  through the civil rights movement, and into today.

It suggest that we should be able to free ourselves from the impact of hundreds of years of institutional

discrimination, both conscious and unconscious. This is a call for us to do something about our own situation.

Line 4  I will keep myself physically fit, building a strong body free from drugs and other substances which weaken me and make me less capable of protecting myself, my family and my Black brothers and sisters.

Physical fitness, purposeful nutrition, and abstinence from things that affect you mental awareness and physical well being. Is there a problem yet.

Protect my self… Every man desires to protect his home and family, right?

Line 5  I will discipline myself to direct my energies thoughtfully and constructively rather than wasting them in idle hatred.

Discipline and positive use of energy and effort. I don’t see a problem yet.

Line 6  I will train myself never to hurt or allow others to harm my Black brothers and sisters

Care and concern for your own kind and humanity in general. Not an issue in my book.

Line 7  for I recognize that we need every Black Man, Woman, and Child to be physically, mentally and psychologically strong.

Is there a problem with a community of strong, healthy, mentally stable Black Folks?

Line 8  These principles I pledge to practice daily and to teach them to others in order to unite my People.

Unity, we live in the United States of America.

If you review this pledge, you will see that I am practicing this every day. That is what My Village Project is all about.

Side note  When I finished writing this article, I went into the living room, the TV was on. It was Jet Li’s Fearless, the movie was at the part when all of the fighters stood together and said a pledge, this is what I heard.

…”must not disagree or fight one another, we must remain strong, so that we can be strong as a nation.

What a coincidence!

It takes a village to raise a child, this is My Village Project

Take care of your village

The Village Mother

Criminals Beware

Criminals BewareImage


Lately here in Detroit, there has been an increase of crimes involving very young perpetrators

in one of the incidents, the youngest thieves were 13 and 14 years old. They were in the company of an older teen.


In one incident, the robber was known in the neighborhood. Friends and family had been trying to convince him to stop breaking into houses.


In another incident, 3 people attempted to break into a home that was occupied. The resident fired warning shots. While fleeing one of the robbers dropped his gun and returned to get it. He attempted to enter the house again.


A thief attempted to steal the Wheels off of a car that just happened to belong to a police officer.


It seems crazy that the crimes are happening by younger and younger people. But the saddest thing of all is that a young person died in each of these incidents.


There is no glamor in crime. There is no profit in crime.


There is a very good chance that a young person in your life could die while committing a crime.


If there is a young person in your sphere of influence who can benefit from this information, please share it with them.


You may not be able to change the world, but you can change your corner of it.



It Takes a Village to Raise A Child. This is My Village Project.


Take Care of Your Village


The Village Mother

Respect for the Rapper


I  now have a new respect for Rap Artists. During my monthly meeting with the grand children, the discussion turned to the gangster lifestyle portrayed by some rappers.

I told them that was all commercial but I had to research this for myself, so I did a little homework and this is what I found.

Rap music came out of a few different realities. Back in the days of the house party, Before DJ’s had two turntables, the DJ would rap, talk jive while he was setting up the turntables. Jive basically means he would talk garbage, in a rhyme following pretty close to the beat of the music, just to keep the party going.

Ya ‘ll remember the basement house party. The young people saw that they could make some money and gain some local popularity by dj’ing house parties and that was the beginning of rap.

Rap became an artistic expression of a less than perfect reality. In the 70 and 80 era a lot of the rappers did come out of ghetto situations and used rap as a vehicle to success.

They are not the hard core gangsters that they portray themselves to be. Most of the contemporary artists today are trained or educated in music no matter whether they went to school for it or learned it standing at the side of other people in the business.

True, some of the hip hop culture elements came from prison culture and yes they did have rap competitions in jail.

Most of the successful rappers, did graduate high school, most of them were not deeply involved in the Gansta World. Some did have various convictions.

Some of them were born in the projects, but raised in the suburbs. Some went to private or parochial schools.

Some are ministers, Little league football coaches, most of them appear to have a social consciousness. One was an English Honors student.

But the most important thing to take away from this lesson is that they were all intelligent deep thinking people who were, industrious, motivated and hard working.

You do not get to that level of success by accident.

From a history of rap music.

Rapping first gained popularity in the U.S. in the 1970s as a kind of street art, especially among African American teenagers. But it wasn’t until 1979, when the Sugarhill Gang released their breakaway hit, ‘Rapper’s Delight, that record producers took notice of this emerging musical genre. o­nce they did, numerous rap acts, including Run-DMC and N.W.A., surfaced, and rap’s audience began to swell. It wasn’t just African American male rappers getting in o­n the act, either: By the 1980s, white rap bands such as the Beastie Boys and female rap bands such as Salt-n-Pepa were reaching the top of the charts.

Over the next few weeks I will feature a brief bio on a few of the rap artists.

The N Word


The NFL is planning to fine players who use the N word and other derision’s, during games and interviews.


Here is my opinion on the use of the N word. I do not like the N word because it is cruel, crass, and vulgar. It is in the league of F-bomb and other expletives.


Now consider it’s historical connotation’s, the N word should not be used.


I am not sure that fining NFL team members for using the N word is going to have any impact on society as whole.


The way to do away with the N word forever is to STOP using, don’t use it as a term of endearment or as slang. Don’t use it out of anger, spite or jealousy. Just don’t use it.


If everyone stopped using the word, in public and in private…

If everyone stopped using the word in movies and music…

If everyone stopped using the word no matter what the circumstances,

The N word would die.


It would die in two or three generations.


When the Africans were kidnapped and enslaved. A lot of cultural information was lost. It was lost because, cultural identity was stripped away and parents were separated from children. The information could not pass from one generation to the next.


If bondage could eliminate culture across 4 million people in 400 years; we can eliminate one little word in a couple of generations.


I know we buried that word a few years back but it is still haunting us.


Just don’t use it.



It takes a village to raise a child, this is My Village Project


Take care of your village


The Village Mother