Fun Times With Dad

my dad

I just finished a term paper, for a class that I am taking.

The topic was, How a fathers care and attention impacts a child’s life. It was based on a research article about a Fathers’ Warm Care giving.

It stated all of the obvious data, and a few new things to consider. A child fares better when there are two parents in the home. A child in a single parent situation is more likely to face poverty and the troubles associated with poverty.

A child who does not have a father in the home is more likely to become a teenage parent and more likely to indulge in drugs, alcohol, and cigarette smoking. A child without a father in the home is more likely to engage in delinquent behavior. You get it.

That is not to say that, because, a child is in a single parent home, the world is going to come crashing down on him or her. There are many fatherless families with children who turn out to be just fine, and in some cases spectacular.

This is the result of powerful parenting on the part of the mother or single father.

Sometimes there is support from friends family and the larger community.

Every now and then things turn out great because they were wonderful children anyway.

Warm parenting is described as nurturing, responsive, positive, interactions by the father.

You know, the kind of stuff you see on TV. The report studied how a father’s warm interactions with his child, between the ages of birth and age 3 affected the child in later life.

The children who had the warm interactions, whether the father was in the home or not, did better on every measure. The did better in preschool, 2 grade, 5th grade and on into adolescence and early adulthood.

This got me to thinking about how it was growing up in my nearly perfect two parent home with a stay at home mom and a kind dad who made good money and did not run the streets.

It was great. We had simple fun, if my dad mowed the lawn, I was walking in his footsteps. If my dad fixed the TV, I was hanging over his shoulder and requesting that he take out all of the scarey stuff.

When my dad put up a picket fence, I was right there, of course, the picket that I cut was totally backwards. It was so backwards that you couldn’t flip it over. So my dad used that as the interest piece on the gate.

Friday was ice cream day, it didn’t matter how many kids were on the sidewalk, we all piled in and rode to the local diary queen or we made these fantastic grape soda ice cream floats in the kitchen.

Our fun came from long rides exploring the country side. The challenge was to see how many fox you could spot. We would drive over to Drayton Plains and Watch the parachute jumpers. And we would spend long days at the state park.

It was all so simple, but so much fun. Dads, whether you are in the home or not, make it a point to spend warm, quality, simple time with your children. You can’t underestimate the impact of that.

My dad is still alive today, I am 55 he is 84.

Thanks Dad for a Wonderful Life.

It Takes A Village To Raise A Child, This Is My Village Project.

Take Care Of Your Village,

The Village Mother

Advertisements

The Fire Challenge

The Fire Challenge

man on fire

I learned to stay away from fire before I was 2 years old.

How old were you when you learned about fire?

I saw the craziest thing on the news recently, it is called the FIRE  CHALLENGE.

Young people were actually setting themselves ablaze and then jumping in the shower.

The news showed young kids between the age of 10 and 14 who have suffered 2nd and 3rd degree burns as a result of this challenge.

You ask yourself what has gone wrong with our children that we have to remind them that fire is dangerous?

This challenge really worried me, so I started a conversation with my 13 year old grandson. He said, “Yeah I saw that but, I didn’t want to try it”. Thank Goodness

Then he tells me that he did the snow challenge! Do you know what a snow challenge is? Well, you take off all of your clothes and jump in the snow, you stay there as long as you can. Mmm, hypothermia, frost bite, shock, and a possible loss of body parts, and this is fun?

He also told me about the salt challenge, our children need help, please talk to the young people in your life about these internet challenges.

Since I wrote this article, I have seen a shift in the application of these challenges.

The Ice challenge is a challenge of celebrities, to have a bucket of ice water dumped on their heads, each celebrity in turn challenges 3 or 4 others, they all make a donation to the ALS Charity. That is an excellent use of a dumb challenge.

It takes a village to raise a child, this is My Village Project

Take care of your village

The Village Mother

Happy Birthday to MVP

Happy Birthday to MVP birthday cake

It is the first Anniversary of My Village Project,.

Since, August 2014, I have posted close to 100 articles and gained close to 60 followers.

Thank you all for taking the time to read what I write.

My posts don’t get a lot of conversation or a ton of likes, that’s okay.

My Goal is to inform and encourage; I want to inform you about the issues facing our youth and encourage you to mentor the youth in your life.

Please feel free to use my posts as a platform for conversation with the young people in your life.

My mentoring efforts have been focused on my grandchildren and the children on my block. I still desire to expand my efforts to a greater areal of the community.

I recently wrote an article called the boogie man. This week I was reminded that the boogie man is real

On August, 9, 2014 Michael Brown, an 18 year old youth, who was visiting family in St Louis Mo, was shot and killed by a police officer. We don’t know all of the details, but the people who observed the incident say that the action was not justified, the young man had his hands in the air.

Over the July 4, holiday, a young man in Chicago was shot and killed by the police. People who observed the incident say that the young man had is hands in the air. . His name was Warren Robinson.

On July 17, 2014 In New York, Eric Garner, died as a result of a very aggressive arrest attempt.

California Highway Patrol officers beat a woman right on the side of the freeway.

Remember the Jena 6? Tray von Martin, Kendrick Johnson, Rodney King? Yes the boogie man is alive and is changing his strategy.

I used to believe that I could teach my children to be respectful and compliant when dealing with the police. I am not sure anymore.

Add these incidents to youth violence and gang activity, teen pregnancy, drug and alcohol use, car accidents, sporting accidents, incarceration, child abuse, kidnappings and other tragedies, and you can understand my concern.

Please mentor someone today.

It takes a village to raise a child, this is my village project.

The Village Mother.

Watch Out For The Boogie Man

green boogie man

Watch out for the boogie man

There was a time in the United States when a black man of any age feared, “the white man.” He knew who the enemy was.

That is no longer true, the enemy has put on the face of the establishment, the courts, and the criminal justice system.

It is now possible for a black man to be sentenced to 30 years in prison, for a crime that does not involve drugs, rape or murder.

The fact that you can’t identify the enemy should be your greatest fear.

It is my goal, objective and desire to see you grow up without any interactions with the police.

If you do have an interaction with the police I hope and pray that it is nothing more than a simple traffic violation and that it all turns out well.

I won’t get into any big giant discussions about the prison industrial complex, or the school to prison pipeline.

I won’t tell you that there are over 12 million black men in jail and prison right now. I won’t tell you that more black men go to prison than go to college.

I won’t tell you that once you are in the criminal justice system that it is a tough road to get back into the good graces of society.

What I will tell you is that if you use the information that has been presented to you, and make wise choices.

If you go to school and get a solid education. If you have an honest job, or business venture and do an honest days work.

If you are a good citizen, causing harm to no one. If you don’t rob, steal or kill.

If you don’t rape beat, stab or shoot. If you don’t extort, coerce, or offend.

Then it is likely that you will grow up to be a successful adult, marry, have children and grand children.

You will have money in the bank. You will live a happy and peaceable life.

That is my hope and wish for all young people. Especially our Black Youth.

This is one of the topics that I discussed with my youth group. It sets the stage for them to be aware of the unseen dangers. It also encourages them to be responsible for their own actions. I hope that this message can be of value to the young people in your life.

My point, let your young people know about the challenges of living in an urban community.

Make them understand that they are usually perceived as a threat. ; this perception could lead to snap decisions by people whom they encounter.

Explain to them that they should never appear to be aggressive, even when defending their actions.

It takes a village to raise a child, this is My Village Project

Take Care of Your Village

The Village Mother

Wealth VS Class

Wealth Vs Class                                    

Image

 

We often associate wealth with class. We think that because a person is wealthy they already have class.

 

I was listening to a sociology lecture, and the professor was discussing class-ism.

 

She pointed out that the people who are in a better position, (upper class) seek to separate themselves from the people who are not as well off by using their status markers.

 

Some of these status markers are High culture, like the opera, ballet, and classical music. 22 piece place settings for dinner., expensive clothing and automobiles, private schools and colleges and excellent manners, and etiquette.

 

During the lecture, I realized that the people who are not wealthy try to obtain those same status markers, believing, that the status markers alone will give them entry into the upper class.

 

The problem with this line of thought is that money does not equal class.

 

Money is a measure of how much stuff you can by, how much money you have in the bank, or how big a house you can afford. These things represent wealth, not class.

 

Class is a product of training, the people from the “upper classes” train their children in the ways of the upper class.

 

They start early and train long. They teach by example and by instruction and critique.

They make references like we don’t behave like that, or they say, you are acting in a manner beneath your station.

 

I am not suggesting that we should try to be “boogie” or anything like that but we can afford to class our kids up no matter how poor or otherwise challenged we are.

 

First, lets try some basic manners, and old fashioned home training. Take off your hat in the house. Don’t walk around with your underwear showing. Wear underwear. Lower your voice, don’t interrupt. Don’t cuss, etc. etc.

 

Then we can encourage good etiquette, proper speaking skills and then the high culture items.

 

If we do this then our young people will have the class that they need when they get to that station in life.

 

It is not about the suit the man has on, it is about the man in the suit. Let us teach our children well.

 

It Takes a Village to Raise A Child. This is My Village Project.

 

Take Care of Your Village

 

The Village Mother

 

The Fox And The Hound

The Fox And The Hound Image

 

Recently, I watched the Disney movie The Fox and The Hound. I learned a lesson that is so true in adult relationships today.

 

In the story a fox and a hound met when they were both puppies, they became close friends.

 

The wise owl in the story told the little fox that he would not be able to remain friends with the hound because that is just the way life is. The fox and the hound grew older and remained friends.

 

Eventually the hound dog’s master took him and trained him to hunt fox.

 

The hunter came back with his hounds and was hunting the little fox. The older hound dog got hurt, so it was up to the young hound to hunt the little fox.

 

The story got pretty tense, and I was sure that the little fox was done for. But, the hound had compassion for his friend. He told the little fox, “I have to do my job. I will let you get away this time only”.

 

Shortly after that the young hound was hurt and the little fox helped his friend.

 

Even though they truly cared about one another, that was the end of their friendship.

 

The hound had a duty to his master. It was his job to hunt all fox. He could not remain loyal to his friend and his master.

 

The life lesson is, relationships sometimes get in the way of our priorities and responsibilities.

 

As you seek your own success in life, you will have to let go of some of the people you currently call friend.

 

For the adults who use my articles to encourage the youth in their life.

 Let them know that it is not a crime to move on from certain circles. We all know the names, boogie, uppity, forgot where you came from, etc. etc. Moving on is just a part of life.

 

 

 

It Takes a Village to Raise A Child. This is My Village Project. Take Care of Your Village

 

The Village Mother

Black History Month Poem

Here is a bit of prose my my Grand daughter ArielImage

 

BHM Black History Month

 

Come with me, you will see

 

long before we were born,

many people’s hearts were torn

 

beating bruising pulling choosing

 

slavery was the African’s worry

 

Children taken were hearts breaking

 

Dad’s were sold like they were Gold

 

Now that slavery has end

 

We should appreciate that we

have freedom.