Self Control In Conflicts
Recently a government report stated that black preschool youth are expelled more often than non black youth. It was a topic on a talk show and an educator who called in stated that the youth lacked self control.
As I stated in my Self Control Article, I believe the kids are over stimulated and I suggested that we practice having our young people sit still and quiet for a period of time each day.
Self control is also necessary when it comes to disagreements between children.
When you are 2, it might be alright to throw a tantrum, but when you are 4 and 5 this behavior should not be tolerated.
We can begin to give our young people the skills that they need to deal with conflict; even at this early age. The science of these skills is called, Emotional Intelligence.
We first have to make sure that we ourselves use our Emotional Intelligence skills when we interact with our youth.
Have you seen the parent at the mall or grocery store who is interacting with her child as though he were an adult? They yell, swear, and ask the child what is wrong with you??!!
The child’s problem is the parent and how they interact with them.
Children learn what they live. You have to be patient and tolerant when dealing with a young person who may not yet be able to express their needs or desires in an intelligent manner.
When your child is in a melt down or biting another child, keep your cool and have your child tell you in as plain a manner as he can what is wrong. Did Tommy bite you or hit you? Did he take something from you?
Remember, children emulate what they see in their lives. Be a good role model and show good emotional intelligence.
Children Learn what they live Dorthy Law Nolte
If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn
If children live with hostility they learn to fight
If children live with fear they learn to be apprehensive
If children live with pity they lean to feel sorry for themselves
If children live with ridicule they learn to feel shy
If children live with jealousy they learn to feel envy
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty
If children live with encouragement they learn confidence
If children live with tolerance they learn patience
If children live with praise they learn appreciation
If children live with acceptance they learn to love
If children live with approval they learn to like themselves
If children live with recognition they learn it is good to have a goal
If children live with sharing they learn generosity
If children live with honesty they learn truthfulness
If children live with fairness they learn justice
If children live with kindness and consideration they learn respect
If children live with security they learn to have faith in themselves and in those around them
If children live with friendliness they learn that the world is a nice place to live in.
It takes a village to raise a child, this is My Village Project
Take care of your village
The Village Mother