Coffee and chit chat. Beer with the boys. A trip to the game, the fight or the movies. That’s socializing right? True, but there is another side.
Teaching our youth what is acceptable and what is not; setting boundaries and implementing punishment when the boundaries are crossed, is also a form of socializing. We generally call that form of socializing, discipline.
When a young person is well disciplined, they show respect and decency, they are generally honest and have a good idea of what they want to do with their life.
How do you get a well disciplined young person? It starts early and takes a long time. It starts at home and has to be re-enforced at grandma’s, the aunt’s and uncle’s the neighbors and the baby sitters.
We all have to be mostly on the same page to produce a well disciplined young person who knows that the boundaries don’t shift because they are away from home.
I’m not talking about ice cream before dinner, when a child is at the grandparent’s house or staying up late to watch scarey movies, when they spend the weekend with the aunt.
I am talking about the things that really matter. The basic principals of our society. Honesty, decency, respect, consideration for others. The basic values and character traits from my article “Character and Values.” My mission is to make sure that the young people that I come in contact with, and the young people that I mentor know about the social standards of our society. Mr Emanuel Barbee “The Solution for America” and Jeffrey Miller, “Up From The Under” Have similar goals, values and mission as I have. The only difference is that they have a vision of National Scale.
My Vision is a bit closer to home but I believe that we all have the same intended outcome. That is to see our youth in a better position and situation than they currently face. To stop Al Capone type activities of our urban areas.
To prevent another mother from having to face the unthinkable, and bury her child. To assure that the babies that are being born, have mothers and fathers in their lives, even if the mother and the father are not together as a couple. And on and on.
If you are not in a position to develop a program, or buy a program that has already been developed, then please, at the very least, start talking to the young people in your lives. Start talking to them when they are 6,7, and 8 years old. Help them with reading, writing and arithmetic. If a child does not learn his school lessons while he is in school, that child will become a young adult who is challenged by reading and other basic life skills. This creates a perfect recipe for what we see now. Young people, 14 and 15 years old, in many cases living away from their parents and engaging in all types of criminal activity. You can write the rest of that story without thinking twice.
Did you know that the private prison system, that is operated in most states, uses the test scores of third grade urban youth to decide how many more prisons they will build 10 to 12 years from now?
Please do what you can to keep at least 1 more child out of this situation. Get a program from whomever you choose and grab half a dozen young people whom you have some influence with and make sure that they know what is expected and what is acceptable and what is not.
Below is an article from my program “My Village Project” you can use this article to start a conversation with the young people in your life.
Discipline And Following Rules.
Discipline is the result of training. The military trains you to charge to the battle the fire department
trains you to rush into the fire. School trains you how to read, write and multiply.
Each community has its own disciplines. In martial arts, the discipline is total self control at all times.
In the military the discipline is to follow orders with a Yes Sir, and don’t question anything.
Basically discipline is the rules that teach us how to behave in society and in the communities that we
are a part of. Your parents begin the discipline process as soon as you come home from the hospital, it
is called a schedule. The discipline continues as you grow older, they teach you to say please, no
thank you and excuse me. They set rules for your conduct in the home, like no snacks before dinner,
bedtime at 9 o’ clock and shower before leaving the house. All of this is part of discipline.
We often think of discipline as physical punishment, that is only a tool of discipline. Repetition, doing
the same thing a hundred times is training. Practicing the school play until you know it by heart, is
discipline. The athletic coaches discipline you in their particular sport.
We can also discipline ourselves by practicing good habits at all times. A student who has a full load in
college will come home, do assignments and get to bed early for the next day. A home maker who has a
family will have a routine to ensure that all of the homemaking duties are attended to. This is
discipline. Every rule that you encounter is part of overall discipline, what are some of the rules in your
These are some comments from an article: 5 arguments that parents never win.
It discussed the parents position regarding time management, choice of friends, personal expression and the differences between now and a long time ago when the parents were younger.
The fact is that the same issues exist today as they did 20,30 even 40, or 50 years ago. Based on these
comments you can see why your parents worry and nag you like they do.
Ha ha, i love this article. At the moment I am 21 years old. Whenever I was 11 I was offered and turned
down weed for the first of many times. At 13 I was offered cocain and heroine both for the first and last
times. Since I was 6 people have regularly tried to talk me into drinking and smoking. So far to date
I’ve never done any drugs, had a single beer, (even now that I’m 21 I’ve stayed alcohol free). I did
smoke for 2 months when I was 14, realized how incredibly broke it made you, and stopped.
n response to the sex themed side of the article, lost my virginity when i was 12 and have had
promiscuous unprotected sex regularly for almost a decade.
This one is about the author.
You are a parent. Some truths persist across generations, regardless of when they were learned. You’re
wrong about parents forgetting what it’s like to be a kid–it is precisely because they remember what it
was like to be a kid that they try to pass along, relatively painlessly, the hard earned lessons to their
kids. They are trying as hard as they can to spare you what they suffered. The only thing that changes is
our technology, not our nature. Do you really think that substantial evolution has occurred between
your generation and your parents’? Do you really think your grandmother is just so wrong you should
ignore her counsel entirely? She might as well have lived on another planet? OK, good luck with
learning the hard way.
Each person is responsible for his own actions and the results of those actions. Each person has to be
able to face up to his own consequences. It also means being responsible for yourself in everyday
matters, like cleaning behind yourself and performing duties as assigned and looking out for others.
Personal responsibility is understanding how your actions create certain results. I was speaking to my
granddaughter not to long ago, she was upset because she did not win the quiet game at school. She
told me that the teacher made her lose the game. My question to her was who is responsible for you
being quiet? We all know the answer and now she knows the answer too. Only she could choose to
speak or not speak. That is personal responsibility.
The consequences of our actions
A consequence is the result of an action, if you kick the ball it will roll across the yard. Always consider
the consequences, before you do anything. Everything that you do has a consequence. If you stay up
all night you will be tired in the morning. If you eat poorly and don’t exercise you may be overweight
or in poor health. If you do not respect your parents or their rules you will probably be grounded. If
you slap a dog you will probably be bitten.
This is also true on the positive side, If you work hard, study and practice, you will be a good student or
a good athlete. Before you do anything, you should think through the entire process and decide if that
is a good move.
I saw this on a school poster.
Being in control of your own behavior
Being trusted with important jobs
Having work finished on time
Doing your part when working together
It takes a village to raise a child and this is My Village Project.
Take care of your village
The Village Mother